Updated on December 4, 2015 My Esoteric moreMY ESOTERIC likes to think of himself as a bit of a polymath with degrees in Statistics, Accounting, Computer Science, I just had a yearning to find an answer. What part of the Bible was the last straw in estranging me from Christianity back in 1957 is lost in my memory; but it was an accumulation of verses throughout the Old and New Testaments. They preached love and forgiveness and tolerance, but yet when I read the Bible, except for the words attributed to Jesus, there wasn’t much of that going around in the Jewish, then Christian communities, especially in the Old Testament. Then, when I read history about Christianity I was absolutely confused over the bifurcation between the charity works at the individual level and despotic activities at the leadership level. Of course, I doubt that I thought of that in quite those terms then, but the dichotomy was not lost on me. The clergy to whom I took my questions, as a young boy, failed to explain those parts of the Bible which I found objectionable because it seemed to run so counter to what they were preaching from the pulpit.
Consequently, I stopped going to church as often as my mother would let me which soon evolved to not at all. I had plenty of time to think. I thought because I had not forsaken God, just the Christian version; even then, looking up into the night sky told me we were not alone. THIS PERIOD LASTED from high school until my mid-40s. During that period, I simply expanded my knowledge base, mainly along the science vector. In that time, I found I was a Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) of INTP – Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceptive. Nevertheless, I tried to make good use of this personality type (of which I wasn’t really aware until somewhere in my mid- to late-30s) as I matured. It was during this period where I became convinced, without going into details, that God and Nature were one in the same and not two different entities as the monotheists would have you believe. How that worked, I didn’t know yet, but it seemed obvious this is the way it had to be to smooth out all of the obvious contradictions contained in a monotheistic philosophy.
Take the fable of Job, for example; that tale is the height of contradiction by asserting that God exemplifies everything monotheists claim isn’t about. Job is wrong on so many levels, yet the faithful find a way to ignore the clear problems with this tale and justify God’s actions; they say there is no problem, no contradiction with how they perceive God. This, of course, is beyond my understanding, but so be it; it is their belief and they have to live what I must think is a terrible subconscience conflict raging between the words they read and the faith they have. Job was central, however, to my leaving the church at such a young age. Of course, thinking that God and Nature are one in the same leaves me in a conundrum as well because that means those characteristics in Man that are so atrocious are also characteristics of God. I think. In any case, this is how these 30 some-odd years were spent, gathering knowledge and working through the problems that developed either in conversations with myself or with others. This period came to an end when I purchased a book-on-tape about the philosopher Baruch (Benedict) Spinoza.
BARUCH SPINOZA PROVED THE EXISTENCE OF GOD! It wasn’t, however, the kind of proof his own Jewish religion or Christians thought was appropriate. He was excommunicated by the Jews, and had to delay publishing his seminal philosophy for fear of his life from the Christians. In any case, It was the explanation of this “proof” by the authors of the book that I was listening to which put me on my course that led to my current position. The reason is that it clarified and solidified the ideas that had been running around in my head, it brought into focus what I already intuitively knew to be true. At this point, I will keep the explanation simple, but will go into more detail in other hubs. The theory works something like this. Take a rock or a person or an idea; they all exist in real time whether as a material thing or a concept. None of these things simply appeared out of thin air, even the idea; they all had a “cause”.