CREATING POSSIBILITY FOR TRANSFORMATION

Transformational Counseling is about assisting another to transform his life.  Transforming ones life is not about changing it.  While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or thought of who he thinks he is.  We tend to believe that our life is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and circumstance and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past experiences but this is not so.  Rather, it is our thoughts and beliefs that determine our experiences and life and also that we are completely and solely responsible for their creation.  What we think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates what we think and believe about ourselves.  Furthermore, we believe or think that we know who we are in life but the reality is that we truly do not.  Much of who we are really being we are simply not present to.  Much of our life is spent in pretense and who we are really being is hidden from us.

Given that much of our life is lived in pretense, from the construct of ego, becoming present to that which is hidden, to who we are being in life, is absolutely necessary for transformation.  It is in that which is primarily hidden from us that one will discover what is determining ones life, referred to here as ones self-limiting belief.  The first component of the transformational process is for one to become present to the hidden thoughts and beliefs that have been limiting him in life and in particular to his self-limiting belief.  It is in the being of the self-limiting belief that one will discover the primary constraint or barrier to his life, to him living a life that he loves and living it powerfully.  We live life from who we think we are.  Who we think we are forms the context for our life.  Having the awareness or distinction of the self-limiting belief allows one the ability to not be it, to not have his life be merely the probable almost certain future from the past.  Without the distinction of the self-limiting belief one will continue to create his life from the backdrop of this ideational barrier and as a result life will appear much as it did in the past.

Becoming present to that which has been hidden, to that which has been truly determining his being in life, allows one the opportunity to transform his life.  Once one gets who he has been being in life, the second component of transformative process is for the individual to begin to create his life as a possibility.  Once the distinction of the self-limiting belief is gotten, the individual is now able to truly create a new possibility for himself and his life.  Getting the self-limiting belief creates the space or an opening for a possibility or possibilities to be invented not as a result or product of the barrier or constraint but from or out of nothing.  It is only from nothing that possibility can truly be   created.  As with the self-limiting belief, possibility exists in language.  Once one gets the language that he has been being, that has defined and limited him through being his self-limiting belief, it is at this point that he can begin to recreate himself through the power of his word.  Who we are is our word.  In is in ones language or word created out of nothing that one has access to possibility and transformation.

The technique described below is designed to assist an individual in becoming present to his self-limiting belief and in the process to create the space or opening for him to invent a possibility or possibilities for recreating his life.

1.  Find a relaxing and comfortable space to sit in for approximately one hour.  Arrange for this space to be free of any distractions.  Just allow yourself to begin to relax.  Become present to where and who you are.  The use of therapeutic relaxation music can promote the development of a very profound sense of relaxation to enhance this experience.

2.  Take a notebook and begin to write down everything that you believe describes or defines who you are.  Let your mind wander and do not try to filter or block out anything.  Just let whatever comes up about yourself, how you feel and what you think about yourself, to be written down.  Who you think you are or that which bests describes you may appear in single words or short phrases.  If in a group, share your description of yourself with others.  Furthermore, make two lists as there will appear to be both positives and negatives aspects about who you think you are.

3.  Sit your notebook down, close your eyes and begin to relax deeply again.  Again, the use of therapeutic relaxation music will assist you in the process of creating a very deep state of relaxation.  As you begin to move into a deep state of relaxation allow yourself to begin to drift back through time, back through your life, back through your adulthood, adolescence and into your childhood.  Allow yourself to become present to how you were being, experiences, thoughts and feelings, through the various phases or stages of your life.  Just become present to or notice what appears for you.

4.  Open your eyes and return to work on your notebook.  Take a look at what you have written and add anything that you became present to about yourself during the above mentioned relaxation exercise.  Again, do not filter out anything but merely allow whatever there is to come to the surface, both the positive and negative words that best describes who you think and feel you are or were.

5.  Once you have come to a completion of creating the lists, both positive and negative, consider that the positives of who you think yourself to be form the pretense of your life and that their design or function is to fix the negatives of who you think you are.

6.  Allow yourself to become present to the negatives you have written down.  Notice which one of the negatives best describes who you are, what you commonly believe and feel about yourself, what you have experienced in your mind in the past and even now.  Declare the negative aspect that is familiar to you to be your self-limiting belief.

7.  Place your notebook in your lap.  Allow yourself to become fully present to the fact that what you have written is you, is who you believe yourself to be.  Become present to an inauthentic way of being, the positive as pretense and the negatives as that which we hide from ourselves and the world.

8.  Place the notebook into your past.  If you are right handed place your notebook to your left.  If you are left handed place your notebook to your right.  Place the notebook approximately three feet from you.

9.  Once you place your notebook into your past allow yourself to become present to where your notebook is in relation to your body, to your right or left.  Allow yourself to again become present to that which you have written in your notebook is who you believe you are and that it exists to either your right or left.

10.  Once you become present to who you believe yourself to be, to the description of yourself as you have written, allow yourself to become present to what now lies in front of you.  Given that who you think you are is either to your left or right, become present to what exists in front of you is nothing, an opening from which everything and anything is possible and can be created.

11.  Inside the nothing that appears in front of you, invent a possibility or possibilities for yourself and your life.  Declare your possibility in language or word, of who you will take on being in life, for yourself.  Furthermore, this declaration becomes your personal affirmation of who you will be in and for the world.

12.  Repeat this exercise everyday.  Repeating this exercise daily will allow one to continue to stay present to his self limiting belief so as to not be it and also to the possibility or possibilities that he has created and invented for himself and his life.  Continuing this exercise will also allow the further possible unveiling of the self-limiting belief.  The self-limiting belief that one initially becomes present to may reveal even deeper meaning for who one is or has been being.

The exercise outlined above is about the work of the first two components of Transformational Counseling and one beginning the process of transformation.  Once one gets the distinction of his self-limiting belief and creates a possibility or possibilities for himself and his life, the third component of transformation involves learning the process of enrollment.  Enrollment is a powerful technique for allowing one to stay living into his possibility and out of his self-limiting belief.  The fourth component of transformation is about creating a daily plan.  The daily plan allows one the opportunity to continue to live into or generate his possibility in his life on a daily basis.  The fifth component of transformation involves a commitment to stay in the conversation of transformation.  It is in staying in the conversation that one experiences the nonlinear nature of transformation thereby keeping the process alive in his life.

Create Your Own Destiny

We are constantly imitating others. When we copy other people, we can’t reproduce their charisma, talent or success. Externally, we can imitate their life, their way of dressing and drive the same kind of car, but this does not bring us fulfilment.

We can take another’s life as an example, but we must think hard before we follow them. Look at the virtues of others and ask yourself: “I have something valuable and worthwhile myself? How can I bring it out?” When you notice something bad in those around you, make a firm resolve: “Let me not nurture such vices”.

There is much hidden potential in each one of us. What should we do to make this blossom? When you activate yourself, you bring out all the strengths and talents that God has given you, all that is inherent in you, that is natural in you, something genuine and original.

Create your own identity. When you do this other people gravitate towards you. Activation leads to gravitation. Then you don’t imitate others. Instead others might want to be like you. We are used to paying more attention to the external world. We try to gain social approval by dressing ourselves in a certain manner.

We stand in front of the mirror and make sure that we are presentable before we leave the house. We trust the mirror implicitly. The mirror reflects our outward appearance, not our thoughts, feelings and relationships.

Does it reflect the love in your heart? You may go to your workplace dressed in your best clothes. When somebody provokes you there, you may retort in anger or sulk in silence. Either way your peace of mind is shattered. Now your beautiful dress does nothing to help you.

Only inner strength and equipoise can continue to keep you calm, cheerful and unruffled. For this you have to activate the divine core within, from which flows a perennial stream of peace and tranquillity.

Imitation cannot give you peace. So, watch your attitude, thoughts, words and desires. Be aware of the calmness in your inner core and try to retain it.

External beauty is temporary. Inner beauty is permanent and eternal. This is the beauty we need and this is what we gain when we activate ourselves. This is the beauty God recognises. So seek love, for you seek inner beauty. Direct your mind to a higher ideal.

When you see the divine beauty concealed in your own heart, you also see it in others. “Do not see, seek”. Don’t look merely at the external form, but also at the divinity within. Today when you see a beggar, you will give him alms.

You will not pat him on the back or shake his hand. If your child comes home, dirty from the playground and calls you “Mummy, Daddy …”, you hug him with love.

If a child in rags comes to you, you drive him away because you don’t love him. For the realised soul a beggar and a king are equally divine and beautiful because he has activated his inner core.

When you imitate you only see. When you activate you seek. The difference between “see” and “seek” is the “k”. That “k” is kindness or karuna.

When there is care, compassion and kindness, nothing else matters. So let us stop imitating. Let us evaluate ourselves and nurture the divine core within. Let us seek. Let us activate.

Connect with Your Body

When we’re in the creative flow, we can sometimes forget we even have a body, because our minds are exploding with color, sounds, words and images. But when unhealthy habits sap your body of its vitality and strength, your creativity and productivity will be sapped as well.

What could be more frustrating than the interruption of your creative flow by an uninvited headache, back spasm, dullness of mind or the “shakes”?

I once heard the expression that as a guitar player, I’m a “small muscle athlete” – meaning I need to warm up those muscles and treat them well. Perhaps as artists we’re ALL small muscle athletes. After all, we do need a good measure of physical endurance to get through our creative tasks.

Whether it’s sitting hunched over an easel, the repetitive movements of playing a musical instrument, the stamina to stand and walk on stage throughout an entire show or sitting at a computer keyboard for most of the day, our creative tools all require the use of the body.

To keep that body strong and resilient takes daily attention.

Day-to-day self-care practices such as getting enough sleep, eating three healthy and balanced meals that are evenly timed throughout the day (plus healthy snacks if you need them), moving your body actively and drinking enough water are all essential for taking care of your body.

Taking care of the body also affects the mind. Fatigue, malnutrition, inactivity and dehydration will all have adverse effects on the mind and the ability to problem solve, concentrate and connect ideas.

The Creative Cycle and Self-Care

Touring with a band, rehearsing for a show or burning the midnight oil to finish a painting before a gallery opening, are all examples of extraordinary circumstances where we might relax our self-care discipline and adopt a whole new set of rules.

Then, when the show or tour is over or the piece is finished, we sometimes sink into an anti-climactic “low” or a period of transition before we get back into the creative flow again.

The daily practices you keep when things are “normal” will build resilience for the times when these extraordinary circumstances come up. They also build habits and healthy living skills that you can draw on when life gets more challenging.

Put it into play

One of the best practices for a healthy body, mind and spirit is to get enough sleep and rest. Tonight, end your evening activities a half hour early and spend that time winding down. Release the worries of the day by writing or speaking about them. Calm yourself with a bath, tea, massage, music or a good read that doesn’t remind you of your work.

We can all come up with reasons why we can’t exercise, we can’t make different food choices and we can’t focus more on our health.

You have a unique creative gift to share with the world, but your creativity relies on a sound mind and body.

So which of your reasons for not taking care of yourself are more important than that?

(c) Linda Dessau, 2005.

Boost Your IQ: Techniques to Increase Your Intelligence Quotient Today

It is  possible to enhance your intelligence quotient in a matter of 10 minutes. Some techniques to do so are discussed below.

Don’t you want to enhance your IQ? Of course, you can use the brain power exercises and techniques. But these are long term and you would need to regularly practice them. What if you want to boost your IQ now, when you don’t have more than 10 minutes. You would need all your IQ for any important meeting, or a test or any other major event in your life. If you really need some concrete results and not argue about intelligence, try the following techniques.

Breath To Increase Intelligence Quotient

Breath deeply through your nose. This will relax you immensely and help you remain calm and composed. Deep breathing infuses oxygen into your blood and therefore into your brain and enhances its functioning. A relaxed brain will be far more efficient. Also nose breathing uses the diaphragm more, so lungs draw more air. This is the simplest and shortest way to enhance your intelligence quotient immediately.

Another level of relaxation through breathing is meditation. Sit in whatever posture  you are comfortable and concentrate on your breathing. With eyes closed,  breath through your nose initially and this will truly calm and relax you. you will have thoughts interfering but just ignore them and keep your focus on your breathing. Do this for a few minutes.

Posture and exercise can improve your IQ

The posture you take while at any problem will surely affect the intelligence at your disposal. Just observe the difference when you solve a math problem slouching and sleeping while you do the same sitting upright. The latter posture will definitely be better since you can think a lot better like that.

You need to exercise, but not a very hectic regime as such. Exercise just enough to pump blood into your brain. Walking works for many but a better alternative to boost your IQ is aerobics.

Sleep also is very crucial for proper brain functioning. But the quality of sleep is also important apart from the duration of sleep.

Diet to Boost IQ

One tree whose leaves do certainly increase blood flow into brain is ginkgo biloba tree. You can use its leaves either in tea or in form of capsules. It also helps improve your memory power and concentration. The effect is immediate and it lasts long if regularly used.

Caffeine is certainly a IQ booster. It has been proved that any test taken after consuming caffeine in some form or the other does increase your scores. But do remember, that the effect is only temporary and caffeine if used longer can have adverse side effects too.

Give up sugar. Any carbohydrate if taken beyond a limit, can blur your thinking. Insulin gets injected into your blood stream after you have sugar and thus diminishes your ability to think. Avoid all carbohydrates like white flour, sugar, potatoes if you want to think clearly.

Results matter in the end

Experts will endlessly debate if the above techniques can really boost one’s IQ. But there are times when it is very crucial for you to score high in a test. The above techniques if are found to be IQ booster, why not use them rather than wasting time in thinking if IQ really gets boosted or not. What matters is the score you get in the IQ test. So if you sleep well, have coffee and think sitting straight and if all this boosts IQ, there is no harm in doing the above techniques. These will prepare you better to face any task. Hence, be wise and don’t debate any more on IQ and its definitions.

I am sure you all know Henry Ford. What was his IQ, any idea? Why bother? He was the most creative thinker of the last century and he was so because he was always in the company of intelligent people. That alone is a direct 20 point in IQ. I hope you get the point I state here.

You are concerned about results. Hence if you want to be creative resort to such techniques of finding a solution. There are techniques available to try out anything. Try your hands at speed reading and you will have double the grasp on the subject you read. What the world will see are the results or achievements you garner in your lifetime. The Monalisa, the Empire State building, etc, are what the world will remember and not your score in IQ tests.